Clarity Among Confusion

Current state of mind: At peace, at home, working.

Current soundtrack: Postal Service, “Against All Odds.” Phil Collins should be proud. What a great cover. Although my ears are sensitive to the high-pitched bleeps and pops that go into the revamped version. 

Current addiction: Sudoku puzzles.

Current problem: Spelling soduko sudoku.

What I did yesterday: Family dinner as usual, although we revved it up to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. We are a respecter of all cultures here at SLO House, so we ate quesadillas outdoors in the courtyard, hung my awesome Chinese lanterns in the tree, and had scones for dessert. 

What’s got me scratching my head: My chiropractor said I needed to readjust my vibrations. Sure. I’ll get right on that.

My latest edict: Men should not wear shoes that clack, clatter, or in any way sound like women’s high heels when the walk. 

Just a thought: Trader Joe’s employees - Grocery baggers or counselors? 

A second thought: Why is that every time I go into TJ’s, they are stocking at the busiest time of day?

I am coming to realize that while I have high ambitions to put lots of pictures on my site so you can see how I live out my life, I’m not very good at following through. So today, I have decided to give you all a tasty English treat. Enjoy!

My neck has been bothering me on-and-off since after the holidays, but not having insurance makes it difficult to seek out medical help because you have to pay through the nose for it. Then my friend Jessica told me about Dr. Brian Buchanan, who she said does walk-ins at a reasonable price. So today I went, and boy, my back is way more messed up than I thought. Apparently I have torticollis, where all the vertebrae in your upper back get twisted, causing all the surrounding muscles to spasm. He said my case was pretty bad for someone my age, and though I wasn’t experiencing any numbness or pain in my arms, I was about as bad as I could get before reaching that point, and it would only get worse if I left it. How long have I been like this? Lord only knows, but I also know that the Lord knew I needed to go to the doctor and sent me one that believes in seeing people get well, regardless if they can pay huge amounts of money. Dr. Buchanan is giving me a good deal to come in for the next month to get my back worked out. 

Those who know me can testify to the fact that I have a problem with cleaning. Don’t get me wrong; I love it when things are clean, but sometimes I have a hard time doing the actual cleaning. The exception is this weekend. I don’t know what got into me, but I have been cleaning like crazy. And not just the “sweep the floor, clean the dishes” variety. I scrubbed. And scrubbed. I used a toothbrush to clean the grout in my kitchen, I wiped down walls and bleached my sink. I even washed every dish and put them ALL away. Even the forks and spoons, which usually get left in the drainer and picked out as needed. Marvelous. 

Of course, between bits of cleaning, I sat down to check my e-mail, chat with my friend Jess, eat a cookie. So as of Saturday night, I’m only halfway through with the cleaning. And the daunting task of tackling my bedroom still remains. Yeesh.

Which brings me to my question for the day. What household chores do you loathe? What do you try to pawn off on other people as often as possible?

Before I went to England, I felt strongly that God had something special for me there. Of course, being me, I thought it was going to be something crazy with fireworks! pyrotechnics! lights, camera, action! But it was nothing like that. It was….peaceful. Which, in the end, was exactly what I needed, and not what I expected. 

I still have friends from my DTS who live and work at Holmsted: Hannah, Jodi, Drew, Daniel, and other staff I got to know and love. It was refreshing just to walk the grounds, to get muddy walking through the fields. Jessica and I took the time to open wide the second-story windows and lean out, smelling the fresh breeze that always hangs sharply around the house. It smells like grass and rain, with a hint of earth. It opens your senses and at the same time, lulls you into peace. 

Peace. That’s what my England trip ended up being about. I think Holmsted will always be my place of peace, a place where I can go and I know God will meet me and restore me.

Flew there and back again, now I’m spit back out in the land of fruits and nuts…and warm weather and glorious spring veggies…YUM! My time in England was incredible. I got to see old friends, and made some new ones. I explored Camden, which I love, and visited some old tourist sites I love.

My favorite moments were when Jessica and I stumbled across some cool corner of the city, and we just stopped to soak it in. InSpiral Cafe in Camden served up tea and a veggie buffet, and The Old Blue Last offered us her best Saturday night crowd. If only I was called to work in England…*sigh* No use in worrying about it, though, since I know that I am called to California. But England will always be my “second country” so to speak. It has been since I was 17, on my very first visit with my French teacher.

I just helped put 13 missionary students and three staff on an airplane headed to Southeast Asia. I’m tired. I can’t find anyone who can do my taxes by Saturday, and I’m leaving the country on Monday. So I used TurboTax. Please God, I pray I did it right. On a happier note, God supplied the money I needed to pay my taxes, which is a huge weight off my mind.

By the way, I, the Queen of Travel Planning, who has trouble being separated from her guide book and maps, has done precious little planning for this England trip. Jessica, who is traveling with me, and has a similar disease, has done no planning to speak of either. The only things on our agenda so far: Camden Market, British Museum, Burn Service at St. Alban’s, Fifteen (Jamie Oliver’s restaurant, and our one blowout food event. Can you say, “Hello sandwiches!”) Don’t get me wrong. We plan on doing plenty, particularly the free museums; we just aren’t sure what we will be in the mood for. We also get the feeling that God has some spontaneous things for us on this trip, so we want to leave space for Him to work. I kind of like the fact that we are leaving things so wide open. My brain is fried, and planning properly requires brain power, so I am more than willing to lay aside my OCD trip planning and embrace spontaneity for once. Perhaps after a couple of days at Holmsted, traipsing through the countryside and enjoying the pub at the crossroads, I’ll feel more up to it.

Also, I am determined to fit all of my belongings into a “carry-on” size Samsonite, which I will check, and a small duffel I will take on the plane. Usually, my Girl Scout sense of being prepared for all occasions means that I pack a large suitcase and overpack for the plane as well. Maybe I’m changing my ways. Or maybe I realize getting from Heathrow to Gatwick, then later up to London, is no piece of cake when you have enough luggage for three people.

At any rate, I am looking forward to the eight hours on a plane. It will be my first “slug moment” since January. I can’t wait to delve into “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers,” and watch all the movies I haven’t rented because it would be a waste of money to spend money on such drivel, but secretly want to see anyway. After that, I’ll take a Tylenol PM, prop myself up against the window, and sleep until we touch down in the land my heart loves. Ah. Bliss.

Does it say something about me that I really look forward to a visit with my counselor? I mean, literally, I skip out the door, down the steps and hop in my car when it’s time to go. And this is at 9 a.m. On a Monday. Honest. That’s like a record for me, I think. I started thinking about this yesterday, because I’ve been going for over a month now, and things have been going really well. I’m tackling something new just about every session, spending time each week working on the issues we talk about, and thinking of methods I can use to free myself from my old junk. But here’s my problem: I’m thinking that pretty soon all the things I went to counseling for in the first place are going to be dealt with, and I’ll have no reason to go back. I’ve really enjoyed having someone to listen to me, and I love figuring things out. I don’t want to quit, even though I’m on the road to recovery. Which begs the question: Can you get addicted to counseling?

There is no escaping it: I am in love with Ryan Adams. Well maybe I love his music. Yeah, not in love. Just love his art. Anyway, I went to see him in Santa Barbara a few weeks ago with my friend Jess, and she was so amazing as to get me a live bootleg of the show. Bliss. Petulant child he may be, but Adams was so put together on stage. The band was on, and when the audience let him, he navigated the show and gave folks what they came for. I am thankful for Jess and her brother, who are directly responsible for me getting to see cool shows in California. It’s a little more complicated to get to said shows, because no one really comes to SLO. You have to travel to Santa Barbara, San Francisco or LA to see anything not local.

*sigh* It makes me miss Nashville.

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I’m listening to David Bazan, formerly of Pedro the Lion. I’m liking one I’m hearing, although it’s taking me a little while to get used to it. It’s folk rock with pop sensibilities. Well, half of it anyway. It’s five songs done pop style, the redone acoustic. I feel slightly ripped off that there’s not more material, but I do like the songs. I recommend it. But not more than Easy Tiger.

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Onetruth Clothing is closing up shop after 10 years. I remember going to Cornerstone a couple of years and seeing their booth, but I didn’t know much about it. I tended to buy CD’s by the handful, and sort of missed the whole thing. Then I moved to the Central Coast and learned more about this amazing company and what they stand for. Really, a very cool group of people, headed up by a guy with his heart in the right place. Visit them at www.onetruth.com, check out the designs, and maybe purchase something as they close the book on their ministry.

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I made curried butternut squash soup tonight. Oh dear. That. Was. Amazing. I will be making this stuff by the bucketload in the near future.

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Books are meant to be read, not sit on your shelf at home. Remember that kids.

I was in Target this evening, and in the next aisle, I heard a father and daughter talking.

Little Girl: You’re not really a daddy.
Dad: Really? I’m not?
Little Girl: No. Mommy says you’re like a little kid.

I do not make these things up. I promise.