I went to my first AA meeeting today. No, I do not have a problem. I went in support of a friend who is trying to get clean and sober. She’s still debating on whether or not she wants to go into a program to get help, but at least she agreed to go to a meeting today. It was a little disheartening, because yesterday she was all set to go to the house and get clean, but after a night sleeping on our couch, she changed her mind.
I have to remind myself this is not for me to decide, and making her feel guilty isn’t going to help her. She claims she has gotten sober on her own before, but we see where that got her: back living in a tent, stone drunk. Argh. It just makes me angry to watch someone destroy their life. When a 62-year-old makes decisions like a willful child, you know there’s a problem.
Anyway, back to the meeting. It was a really diverse group of people: veteran addicts who were finally getting their act together, those who had done time in prison, and girls younger than me who should not have to be facing down their deamons this early in life. You could see some people were genuine, and they were truly getting it. Others were there because they were ordered by the court to attend. There was a decided difference between the two, and really, it made me want to walk around the room and shake people awake: “Do you realize what you are doing here? You’re trying to take back your life. Pay attention!”